Rottweiler Rules

I'm feeling better now so I thought I'd share with you a fun game we all play around here.

I want you to meet Mr. Ball. This is a ball in all it's perfection. No other ball will do. If Mr. ball is missing I have a very depressed Rottweiler. Playing ball with Mr. Ball makes all who participate happy, happy participants. This is often all it takes to pull me out of one of my little funks.

Now we have other balls. Its not like we are too poor to buy new balls. I have dozens of perfectly new balls. However, these simply won't do. There is only one Mr. Ball and this ain't it.

Where ever the Rottweiler is so too is Mr. Ball and she watches everyone around her to make sure no one takes Mr. Ball because he is just so wonderful, of course, everyone will try to steal it. Even the kitties are not to be trusted. Most times we sleep with Mr. Ball tucked safely away in her mouth.

How does one play ball with Mr. Ball? Well, its very complicated.

Rule 1) The rules are developed by the Rottweiler and the rules can change at any time

Rule 2) When giving the ball over to a human to be thrown an elaborate, highly orchestrated dance occurs. The ball is tucked behind a pillow or snuggled under a blanket, nudged by the nose into a nook or a crannie.

Rule 3) If the human reaches for the ball before this elaborate and highly sophisticated dance is completed then the ball is snatched up, a ritualistic pace around the coffee table ensues and once again the tucking dance continues.

Rule 4) If the human messes with the Rottweiler or teases her with Mr. Ball and does not throw him in a timely manner a new human ball partner will be found promptly until the first human learns his lesson. Her Dad especially has to be taught over and over this very strict rule.

Rule 5) There is no bad time to play Mr. Ball. In fact, as the house shuts down and we go to bed is an especially prized time to play Mr. Ball. If no one "plays ball" there may be a lot of whining and sad eyes.

Rule 6) The wetter and muddier Mr. Ball is the better he is. In fact, when it rains the Rottweiler must be let out immediately so that she may roll Mr. Ball in the grossest, muddiest puddle one can find then she must be promptly let in to start the ritualistic ball playing event.

As you can see here emergency protective measures had to be taken as the kitty (Little Girl) walked by. Little Girl just looks at the Rottweiler with utter and complete disdain because she thinks Mr. Ball is stupid. In fact, both kitties agree that Mr. Ball and the game that is played is very alarming, upsetting and generally a real menace to society.

I just thought I should share this little Moore Fun Ritual with you because if I'm home I'm playing Mr. Ball. I have learned to do it while I'm reading, eating, watching TV, talking on the phone, on the computer. It doesn't matter. In fact, both Jessie and my mother have all accepted that if they are in my house they WILL be playing Mr. Ball. Annie (my mother) is really the prized ball playing partner. She gets it. I don't know why...she just does.

So Grasshopper, if any of you wonder..."Gee...I wonder what Dave and Lisa are doing?" Well now you know...we are most definitely playing Mr. Ball. That's just what we do.

"Every human being should realize that the future of humanity is dependent on their present actions and thinking"

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama