Just a quick note to let the world know that apparently the wine incident was a bit more severe than I had originally thought. Basically I fried (or soaked) the mother board. As some of you know my mother and I have been sharing her computer or as Beth put it, joint custody. I get it from 4pm to 8 am and my mother gets it from 8am to 4 pm. It just so happens this is when I choose to quit smoking (oh lets face it...there is never going to be a perfect time). The computer and Facebook, My Space, email and all my apps keep my hands and brain busy. It lets me focus on something other than the need for a cig. But I'm worried I've been a bit piggy. So I'm trying to help my mother a little bit extra (my way of saying little squirrel knows and appreciates it). Guilt is eating me alive though. Not only have I taken over the computer but I "ignore" David. Now don't get me wrong...he has been BEYOND patient and keeps saying "if it makes you happy then it makes me happy"...I know I'm lucky. So I have quite a dilemma. I've been told by professionals and friends recently that I need to put myself first in order to take care of everyone else but they also say "don't be selfish...just take care of yourself" so I wonder where is that line between selfish and taking care of myself? I have always battled with this very question but I suppose all neurotic people do...I don't know.
So people I may be offline for a bit more until May 13th. Don't get me wrong...I can't stay away long but maybe I can try to find that "sweet spot" for self care and selfish. I am going to try to leave the computer alone tonight. Lets see if I can do it. I have basically switched one addiction for another and its got me all wacky until I can finally be okay without a cig. Off and on since I was 15 smoking has been my coping mechanism. If I was uncomfortable (which is a lot) I light up. If I was bored, nervous, sad, etc... I'd light up. Well I still have all these emotional hazards without the coping mechanism...no that's not right...I'm in the process of finding new and healthy coping mechanisms. I just want my family to know that I am trying very hard to sort all of this out. Tonight for instance I will plant two trees, tan, go to a meeting, do my mothers laundry and spend time with my husband. I'm actually okay with that...its the wee hours of the morning. If I watch TV I will want to smoke. I won't have anything to do until work...that's going to be the tough hours. All in all though I am doing well. I have never thrown a temper tantrum and have burst into tears just once or twice.
Okay onto more pleasant talk....my new Dell!!!! YAAAAYYYY!!!!
Its green, vista (I've gotten use to it), photography savvy, all programs, fully loaded. I am beyond excited. I told you when that hp tech support guy blew me off that was it...hp was dead to me.
For my mothers birthday she gets a new Dell and gives her hp to Dave who just likes to get to Amazon, golf stuff, email, bank and my blogs. Then I will have a computer all to myself...and then I am going wireless so I can spend time with my husband and my Big Girl AND play with my new toy such as photo editing etc....
Okay that was really long winded in order to apologize to family and to explain why I may not be around as much (its temporary...believe me) and about my new Dell.
I am thankful for my new Dell
I am thankful my mother is such a giving and patient woman
I am thankful my husband "gets it"
I am thankful I am not smoking
I think hp tech support sucks
Addiction of any kind sucks...I should know
watching my dad struggle with every breath sucks
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Blue Light Special
This has been a difficult morning for me. I accidently spilled wine on my computer last night. I didn't think it was much. I immediately wiped it down and shut it down and went to bed. I prayed all through the night that all would be okay in the morning. So I got up at 3:30 am knowing I would have my computer to get me through until the house woke up. I turned it on and it was working!!! It was beautiful. Everything worked great so I clicked on my favorites, found my facebook page, clicked on the user and pass area and started typing all the relevent information. However, the keyboard was not responding. So for two hours I tried everything. I even called my hp support number. The man was very nice until he noticed I hadn't renewed my warranty. I didn't know I had to. And then he proceeds to tell me in a very condenscending tone....."I'm sorry but no warranty no help". I was stunned....I asked him if I could buy something on line that would help him to help me. He told me to buy a new computer and hung up. There was this horrible black smoke that began pouring out of my ears. I, at that moment, remembered my friend Trudy in Virginia saying as she showed off her new Dells that the tech support was off the charts so I mumbled into the silent phone..."I will fucker....a DELL!!!!!"
The rest of that story can be read on my other blog http://www.lisaunleashed.blogspot.com/
So I resigned myself to the unimagineable fate of no computer and decided to use my perfectly working mouse and read my friends blogs. I got to Beth's Run With Me Blog and read how she did at the horsetooth half marathon. I will let you read the story for yourself
http://www.twentysixpointtwoormore.blogspot.com/
She told a story that had me on the floor laughing so hard I nearly threw up. It was about when your lower digestive track decides to do a mass evacuation at the most inopportune time. She was a trooper. Under those circumstances I probably would have just run off the side of those beautiful mountains sparing myself the unimagineable ribbing I would get from my better half and my offspring. That would be a fate worse than death.
Anyhoo....this type of phenomenon is known in my family as the "Blue Light Special". Do not ask me how this term came to be but its one we use frequently. Usually this type of thing happens in the car on my way home from a wonderful meal and I've never had an accident because we imagine Dave putting a blue siren on top the car and he gets me home just in the knick of time.
I will tell you a story about one of my Blue Light Specials that was pretty messed up. November 6th 2004 David and I took Jess to Olive Garden for her birthday dinner. We needed this because we had just survived Hurricane Isabel and just got our power back on and things were beginning to go back to normal. We had a great dinner with much laughing and enjoyment. We then decided to go home and watch the new movie Jess got called "Finding Nemo"....a classic already.
We get into the car and my lower "bowel area" began to make a strange sound...not like one any of us had ever heard before...it was quite ominous sounding. Then I burst into the cold sweats. I couldn't decide if I was going to spontaneously combust right then and there or what the hell was going on. Then I knew....this was going to be the Mother of all Blue Light Specials. My wonderful family knew instantly by the look of horror in my eyes and the profuse sweating and those ominous sounds coming from my stomach.
Now we were literally less than 2 miles from my house and there was a very small powder room right when you got in the door. I began using visualization exercises ...I could see my driveway, I could see the front door, I could see that wonderful little tiny powder room...I could see the toilet...about this time my husband was pulling out of the parking lot. Across the street I saw a Dunkin Donuts rising before me like a Phoenix rising up to call mama home. I just pointed urgently to the Dunkin Donuts.....we hung on for dear life as he did a bat turn (illegal) to do a u-turn into the donut parking lot.
It was fairly late by this time...I guess not a high traffic time for donut stores. I flew past this little teenager boy just trying to do his job and found the bathroom....I didn't lock...I just danced around crying as I tried to calmly pull down my pants but it was like those horror movies where the pretty girl finally makes it to the car but it won't start as the monster bears down on her. It was much like that. I MADE IT with a big sigh of relief and relaxed and OMG!!!!! WTF?????? It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. For a minute I thought I was spontaneously combusting...then I realized "no...I will have to walk out with as much dignity I can muster because there is no way in hell that sweet child out there isn't hearing this and is probably wondering if he should call 911. "
Fuck it...I washed my hands, adjusted my clothes, fluffed up my hair and walked out as if I was Queen Elizabeth, smiled at the boy and said goodbye...NO>>>I DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING!!!!! If I was wondering if I could've escaped notice by the boy but one glance at the look on his face and I knew I was soooo busted. I ran out to the car and told Dave to step on it before I even closed the door. Everyone was all nosey and wanted details which I refused to provide and those two laughed all the way home...still the longest two miles of my life.
To move on with the festivities I got the DVD and turned everything on and BAM our power was out again. I wanted to scream. Because we had just recovered from Hurricane Isabel we still had out generator outside the door ready to go. So we plugged in the TV and microwave. We watched Finding Nemo by candlelight eating popcorn and watching the movie to the background noise of a leer jet landing. The only thing that made the night even better was knowing my grumpy neighbor next door (I called him Mr. Wilson) hated the sound of our generator.
The rest of that story can be read on my other blog http://www.lisaunleashed.blogspot.com/
So I resigned myself to the unimagineable fate of no computer and decided to use my perfectly working mouse and read my friends blogs. I got to Beth's Run With Me Blog and read how she did at the horsetooth half marathon. I will let you read the story for yourself
http://www.twentysixpointtwoormore.blogspot.com/
She told a story that had me on the floor laughing so hard I nearly threw up. It was about when your lower digestive track decides to do a mass evacuation at the most inopportune time. She was a trooper. Under those circumstances I probably would have just run off the side of those beautiful mountains sparing myself the unimagineable ribbing I would get from my better half and my offspring. That would be a fate worse than death.
Anyhoo....this type of phenomenon is known in my family as the "Blue Light Special". Do not ask me how this term came to be but its one we use frequently. Usually this type of thing happens in the car on my way home from a wonderful meal and I've never had an accident because we imagine Dave putting a blue siren on top the car and he gets me home just in the knick of time.
I will tell you a story about one of my Blue Light Specials that was pretty messed up. November 6th 2004 David and I took Jess to Olive Garden for her birthday dinner. We needed this because we had just survived Hurricane Isabel and just got our power back on and things were beginning to go back to normal. We had a great dinner with much laughing and enjoyment. We then decided to go home and watch the new movie Jess got called "Finding Nemo"....a classic already.
We get into the car and my lower "bowel area" began to make a strange sound...not like one any of us had ever heard before...it was quite ominous sounding. Then I burst into the cold sweats. I couldn't decide if I was going to spontaneously combust right then and there or what the hell was going on. Then I knew....this was going to be the Mother of all Blue Light Specials. My wonderful family knew instantly by the look of horror in my eyes and the profuse sweating and those ominous sounds coming from my stomach.
Now we were literally less than 2 miles from my house and there was a very small powder room right when you got in the door. I began using visualization exercises ...I could see my driveway, I could see the front door, I could see that wonderful little tiny powder room...I could see the toilet...about this time my husband was pulling out of the parking lot. Across the street I saw a Dunkin Donuts rising before me like a Phoenix rising up to call mama home. I just pointed urgently to the Dunkin Donuts.....we hung on for dear life as he did a bat turn (illegal) to do a u-turn into the donut parking lot.
It was fairly late by this time...I guess not a high traffic time for donut stores. I flew past this little teenager boy just trying to do his job and found the bathroom....I didn't lock...I just danced around crying as I tried to calmly pull down my pants but it was like those horror movies where the pretty girl finally makes it to the car but it won't start as the monster bears down on her. It was much like that. I MADE IT with a big sigh of relief and relaxed and OMG!!!!! WTF?????? It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. For a minute I thought I was spontaneously combusting...then I realized "no...I will have to walk out with as much dignity I can muster because there is no way in hell that sweet child out there isn't hearing this and is probably wondering if he should call 911. "
Fuck it...I washed my hands, adjusted my clothes, fluffed up my hair and walked out as if I was Queen Elizabeth, smiled at the boy and said goodbye...NO>>>I DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING!!!!! If I was wondering if I could've escaped notice by the boy but one glance at the look on his face and I knew I was soooo busted. I ran out to the car and told Dave to step on it before I even closed the door. Everyone was all nosey and wanted details which I refused to provide and those two laughed all the way home...still the longest two miles of my life.
To move on with the festivities I got the DVD and turned everything on and BAM our power was out again. I wanted to scream. Because we had just recovered from Hurricane Isabel we still had out generator outside the door ready to go. So we plugged in the TV and microwave. We watched Finding Nemo by candlelight eating popcorn and watching the movie to the background noise of a leer jet landing. The only thing that made the night even better was knowing my grumpy neighbor next door (I called him Mr. Wilson) hated the sound of our generator.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Little Squirrel
I know many of you watch Seinfeld. I know I did and still do. I have so many "Seinfeld" moments in my life its not even funny. There is one episode that we live with every day here. That is the Little Squirrel episode. For those of you who don't know or can't remember Little Squirrel was the episode where Elaine was dating the saxophone player. She really liked him but there was one little thing he wouldn't do for her in bed and that was the one thing she really wanted. Then Jerry mentions to friends that Elaine and this saxophone player were really getting "hot and heavy". When Elaine found out she freaked. HOT and HEAVY????!!!! she yells. She explains to Jerry that this saxophone player is like a little squirrel. You don't go up to a little squirrel and and make a bunch of noise as she waves her arms wildly about. You need to be gentle and soothing and quiet so you don't scare the little squirrel away.
I finally had to explain to Dave that I'm the little squirrel. I've had so much drama and violence and pain and yelling in my life I just can't bear it anymore. He finally got it and he has been so good ever since.
For example...Dave is the Great Lecturer. No body...I mean nobody can give a lecture like Dave on absolutely everything. Just ask Jess. He would wait until she was locked in the car on their way to court (AGAIN) and that's when he'd spring the lecture. There was no escape. One time when he wouldn't let her out on the side of the interstate in North Carolina on their way back from court (again) screaming at the top of her lungs as he continued with the lecture from hell. She was so pissed she crawled into the very back of our Jeep Cherokee (as far from him as was humanly possible) and that is where she stayed.
But Jess isn't the only one. I got lectures to. I finally was getting like Jess....I couldn't take it. Every time I would screw up (which is a lot...but not on purpose...I'm a lot like Lucy Ricardo.....LUCY..you got some s'plaining to do!!!!) I knew that lecture was coming. Of course he was usually right and he lectured out of love but there are sometimes you just can't take it. You can't!! The last time I screwed up which was a few weeks ago I had to explain my dilemma to Dave and before he could puff up his chest and begin the arduous task of lecturing me I told him "look....little squirrel knows...she doesn't need a lecture because she already knows" That stopped him dead in his tracks and he cracked up. So he is watching his lecturing...he tries to limit it to really important or dangerous type situations. My mother gets the lectures too but shes such a good sport she just waves her arm and lets it go in one ear and out the other.
I am going to label this as Seinfeld Moments because I have a feeling I will be writing about a lot of them.
Happy Easter everyone
Lisa
"Although man's intelligence can sometimes make him a trouble maker, I believe that because of our intelligence we human beings are also capable of developing infinite altruism."
_His Holiness the Dalai Lama
P.S. If some of you are asking "what was the one thing he wouldn't do for Elaine in bed?" Well I will tell you. He finally did this great thing for Elaine but it still wasn't getting her to the promise land. This guy tried and tried until he could try no more. It just so happens that night a talent scout or whatever was watching this guy play. Unfortunately while he tried all day to get Elaine to the promise land his lips became numb. So that night he picks up his saxophone and he can't play!! His lips won't work!! It was awful and I know Elaine felt terrible as she slinked out of the night club. That my friends was the end of Little Squirrel!
I finally had to explain to Dave that I'm the little squirrel. I've had so much drama and violence and pain and yelling in my life I just can't bear it anymore. He finally got it and he has been so good ever since.
For example...Dave is the Great Lecturer. No body...I mean nobody can give a lecture like Dave on absolutely everything. Just ask Jess. He would wait until she was locked in the car on their way to court (AGAIN) and that's when he'd spring the lecture. There was no escape. One time when he wouldn't let her out on the side of the interstate in North Carolina on their way back from court (again) screaming at the top of her lungs as he continued with the lecture from hell. She was so pissed she crawled into the very back of our Jeep Cherokee (as far from him as was humanly possible) and that is where she stayed.
But Jess isn't the only one. I got lectures to. I finally was getting like Jess....I couldn't take it. Every time I would screw up (which is a lot...but not on purpose...I'm a lot like Lucy Ricardo.....LUCY..you got some s'plaining to do!!!!) I knew that lecture was coming. Of course he was usually right and he lectured out of love but there are sometimes you just can't take it. You can't!! The last time I screwed up which was a few weeks ago I had to explain my dilemma to Dave and before he could puff up his chest and begin the arduous task of lecturing me I told him "look....little squirrel knows...she doesn't need a lecture because she already knows" That stopped him dead in his tracks and he cracked up. So he is watching his lecturing...he tries to limit it to really important or dangerous type situations. My mother gets the lectures too but shes such a good sport she just waves her arm and lets it go in one ear and out the other.
I am going to label this as Seinfeld Moments because I have a feeling I will be writing about a lot of them.
Happy Easter everyone
Lisa
"Although man's intelligence can sometimes make him a trouble maker, I believe that because of our intelligence we human beings are also capable of developing infinite altruism."
_His Holiness the Dalai Lama
P.S. If some of you are asking "what was the one thing he wouldn't do for Elaine in bed?" Well I will tell you. He finally did this great thing for Elaine but it still wasn't getting her to the promise land. This guy tried and tried until he could try no more. It just so happens that night a talent scout or whatever was watching this guy play. Unfortunately while he tried all day to get Elaine to the promise land his lips became numb. So that night he picks up his saxophone and he can't play!! His lips won't work!! It was awful and I know Elaine felt terrible as she slinked out of the night club. That my friends was the end of Little Squirrel!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Beth's questionaire
I decided to give Beth's uestionaire a try. I LOVE questionaires. For some reason I have always felt so invisible my whole life. I am realizing I wasn't as invisible as I thought as I run into friends on Facebook that I haven't seen since I was 15 and yet they ALL remembered me!! I'm shocked and delighted. Also I have been doing these goofy quizzes on Facebook that are hilarious. For example of all the TV moms out there apparently I'm most like Sharon Osbourne (frightening) or if I was an 80's rock band who would I be...KISS. Terrific...what does all this say about me? If I was one of Jesus's disciples I am most like Matthew. Also if I had a pirate name it would be Captain Pretty and the Scurvy Eunuchs or if I was a stripper I would be called Passion Velvet Toes. You get my point. They are silly but so much fun. So now its time for Beth's questions:
1) What are current obsessions? Thats easy....Facebook on the computer. But I stay super obsessed about something for about a month then I move onto my next obsession. They rotate around from quilting, writing, reading, cross stitch or watching a complete TV series on DVD. But right now its the computer and I don't see this losing its appeal anytime soon.
2) Which item from your closet are you wearing the most? My crazy Peace T-shirts. I love them...they are crazy wild but its okay becasue I work at the hippie joint in town.
3) Whats the last thing you bought for yourself? Well my story couldn't possibly more entertaining than Beths (I'm still chuckling over the mental picture in my head of Beth "demonstrating" the tampon for the poor Mexican that must have been so confused at her request). The last thing I bought for myself was a new haircut, tanning sessions and my new program I'm doing with my Chiropractor called NAET. In fact google that....its the most amazing thing and it works!!
4) Whats for dinner? Every man for himself at my house. I have no children at home and I cook for a living so my poor David is on his own but I promise to make it up to him one day.
5) Say something to the person who tagged you: I don't think I've ever been tagged but to be quite frank I'm not sure what that even means...I'm so clueless with the new computer lingo.
6)What is the one item you could not live without? Well I agree with Beth....my husband, daughter, parents, animals and friends and family are the things I would die without but if I had to pick one item I guess it would have to be my computer.
7)Vacation spots you must visit before you die: Greece again and again. But I also want to see southern France, Spain, Scotland, India (for a retreat), Galapagos Islands, Mexico City again in honor of my grandfather, Oregon, Washington, the rain forest in Canada and the northern US, the Brazillian rainforest, Yellowstone to commune with the wolves there, Alaska, Italy again, and England (specifically Liverpool for the Beatles and Sheffield for Def Leppard.
There are more but we'll start there.
8) Three things to do before you die: Barrel Race my Elliot, publish a book and publish my photographs (and I know we said just three but I really want to meet the Dalai Lama.
9) What is your guilty pleasure? If I feel guilty about it then its best I keep it to myself
10) What is your favorite smell? This usually confuses people but my favorite smells all revolve around my horses...horse manure, sweaty leather, sweaty horses or just regular horses and hay. Anything from my barn.
11) Best thing you ate or drank lately: I work with a girl named Morgan who makes me the best paninis and smoothies
12) Care to share wisdom: What Sheryl Crow sang.."Its not having what you want but wanting what you have" In other words you may think the grass is greener but once you get there it usually isn't.
13) What do you do to avoid doing the things you should be doing? Begging David in my most sweet and manipulative way or play on the computer.
14) Talk about one regret in your life: One?? There are so many. However one thing comes to mind and I am taking that with me to my grave.
15) What do you have an addiction to? I am slowly weeding out my little addictions. The big one I have to overcome now is to quit smoking. I am on my last carton now and then its Nicoderm patch time. What fun blog posts those will be...but I need to do thins and I need all the encouragement I can get.
16) My own question I added: Do you have any four footed children and if so what are they and what are their names? My little brood has shrunk a bit with the deaths of four of my babies but right now I have a Rottweiler named Alexandra the Greatest Big Girl Moore. I have two cats. The long haired is Little Girl and my little shorthaired Tortie kitty is Catalina or Catty for short.
Then my three horses: My gelding named Elliots Paper Sun or El or Big E, my mare named Dear Prudence and my baby filly named Penny Lane of course.
So in my continued effort to not be invisible (though I'm assured I am not) I love filling these out and doing my blog because its a way for people to know me. Even my husband has said he's learned so much about me from my blog.
Enjoy and let me know if you do this questionaire so I can go and read it.
1) What are current obsessions? Thats easy....Facebook on the computer. But I stay super obsessed about something for about a month then I move onto my next obsession. They rotate around from quilting, writing, reading, cross stitch or watching a complete TV series on DVD. But right now its the computer and I don't see this losing its appeal anytime soon.
2) Which item from your closet are you wearing the most? My crazy Peace T-shirts. I love them...they are crazy wild but its okay becasue I work at the hippie joint in town.
3) Whats the last thing you bought for yourself? Well my story couldn't possibly more entertaining than Beths (I'm still chuckling over the mental picture in my head of Beth "demonstrating" the tampon for the poor Mexican that must have been so confused at her request). The last thing I bought for myself was a new haircut, tanning sessions and my new program I'm doing with my Chiropractor called NAET. In fact google that....its the most amazing thing and it works!!
4) Whats for dinner? Every man for himself at my house. I have no children at home and I cook for a living so my poor David is on his own but I promise to make it up to him one day.
5) Say something to the person who tagged you: I don't think I've ever been tagged but to be quite frank I'm not sure what that even means...I'm so clueless with the new computer lingo.
6)What is the one item you could not live without? Well I agree with Beth....my husband, daughter, parents, animals and friends and family are the things I would die without but if I had to pick one item I guess it would have to be my computer.
7)Vacation spots you must visit before you die: Greece again and again. But I also want to see southern France, Spain, Scotland, India (for a retreat), Galapagos Islands, Mexico City again in honor of my grandfather, Oregon, Washington, the rain forest in Canada and the northern US, the Brazillian rainforest, Yellowstone to commune with the wolves there, Alaska, Italy again, and England (specifically Liverpool for the Beatles and Sheffield for Def Leppard.
There are more but we'll start there.
8) Three things to do before you die: Barrel Race my Elliot, publish a book and publish my photographs (and I know we said just three but I really want to meet the Dalai Lama.
9) What is your guilty pleasure? If I feel guilty about it then its best I keep it to myself
10) What is your favorite smell? This usually confuses people but my favorite smells all revolve around my horses...horse manure, sweaty leather, sweaty horses or just regular horses and hay. Anything from my barn.
11) Best thing you ate or drank lately: I work with a girl named Morgan who makes me the best paninis and smoothies
12) Care to share wisdom: What Sheryl Crow sang.."Its not having what you want but wanting what you have" In other words you may think the grass is greener but once you get there it usually isn't.
13) What do you do to avoid doing the things you should be doing? Begging David in my most sweet and manipulative way or play on the computer.
14) Talk about one regret in your life: One?? There are so many. However one thing comes to mind and I am taking that with me to my grave.
15) What do you have an addiction to? I am slowly weeding out my little addictions. The big one I have to overcome now is to quit smoking. I am on my last carton now and then its Nicoderm patch time. What fun blog posts those will be...but I need to do thins and I need all the encouragement I can get.
16) My own question I added: Do you have any four footed children and if so what are they and what are their names? My little brood has shrunk a bit with the deaths of four of my babies but right now I have a Rottweiler named Alexandra the Greatest Big Girl Moore. I have two cats. The long haired is Little Girl and my little shorthaired Tortie kitty is Catalina or Catty for short.
Then my three horses: My gelding named Elliots Paper Sun or El or Big E, my mare named Dear Prudence and my baby filly named Penny Lane of course.
So in my continued effort to not be invisible (though I'm assured I am not) I love filling these out and doing my blog because its a way for people to know me. Even my husband has said he's learned so much about me from my blog.
Enjoy and let me know if you do this questionaire so I can go and read it.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
David
It is so easy to take your spouse for granted. We've all done it and we have all had it done to us. That's okay....its one of the perks of being married to your soul mate, just as long as you do take the time to see your spouse for who he/she is and all the many ways they show you they love you. I couldn't sleep tonight and as I lay there trying to go back to sleep I began thinking of all the ways David has shown he loves me. I know I have thanked him so many times but again...have I really told him. That's what I am doing today.
David and I met and I had 3 large dogs, a cat, a psycho ex husband and the all time worst problem child. My daughter had been through a lot so when she acted out she went for broke. She made it very clear she didn't want Dave around and even circled places for rent in the classifieds that she told him he should see about. How I actually made it to a wedding much less my own was a miracle. He married me anyway and loved Jessie anyway. He gave her space so she could have her mom all to herself. He decided that Jessie really needed me and his time would eventually come. Once we settled in as a family Jessie hit her teens and boy were they fun. But the person she would go to 9 times out of 10 was David and he was there for her. I cannot tell you how many times he took her to court and sat by her side as support...never judging her but secretly praying she wouldn't make the same mistakes he and I did. She did and then a whole lot more but none the less he was there for her. Sometimes his support was in the form of a lecture which she really didn't like but somehow that stuff sank in. He had planted many seeds that are beginning to sprout right now.
He was always there for "our" animals too and let me tell you they were a pain in the ass. I don't know how many times he would search for our Houdini dogs. He'd always find them.....grumbling the whole time. However he was there holding them every time we had to put one down and his tears were genuine.
So just when it looked like we survived old dogs and their problems and Jess and her problems we came for a visit to Blanding Utah to visit my parents. Now I am an only child and for most of my life I have been separated from my family because life just worked out that way. So when we got off the plane and I saw my dad with his oxygen tank and my mother who could barely walk imagine my overwhelming concern. During that visit David and I decided there was nothing left to do but move out to help take care of them.
There are some things you should know about him. He loathes change. He was born and raised in Denbigh Va and there he was going to be buried. He had a business that he ran for 18 years. He was in a band as a lead guitarist and all his family and friends....everything that he knew and loved...was in Denbigh. I quit the job I loved at The College of William and Mary and we sold our house and prepared to move. I'm not going to say those 6 months were easy or even good and there was a lot of freaking out going on but eventually I kissed my daughter goodbye, we loaded up all the cats and dogs in a mini van and a mustang and off we went across the country to our new home. We traveled 5 days and kept each other company with our walkie talkies. We survived a tornado in Tenn. and fatigue by the time we hit Albuquerque. The next day we rolled into Blanding. It was desolate and all we saw was a huge tumbleweed roll across the road. At that point David said into his walkie talkie "we're not in Kansas anymore".
The first year was very difficult. My dad didn't want to admit they needed help and my mother was in denial about her walking situation. David was homesick and getting a bit angry about it but over time he joined the golf course here, made friends and started a very successful business in a town of 3600. 6 months into our new life here in Utah Jessie called and my mother and I decided she needed rescuing and told her to move here in Utah. Dave was devastated because that was the one perk to moving to BFE...no Jessie and all that went with her. But out she came and in time he admitted it was the best thing she could've done.
David would do anything to make me happy. He knew my whole life I dreamed of owning a horse. He was thinking 500 dollars for a sweet old gelding. But when I saw him....my magnificent buckskin beauty I had to have him. I burst into tears. I have never manipulated my husband to buy me something with tears but this was serious. I was going to die if I didn't get that horse. The horse that was a 2 year old stallion that cost us 5000 dollars. A few weeks later I announced I bought his pregnant full blooded sister for 4000 dollars. 8 months later we had Penny Lane, a filly every bit as bad as my daughter was. Everyday Penny would literally chew down the fence and everyday Dave would rebuild it. He cussed a blue mile as he did it but did it he did (is that a sentence??)
I had some tough times here with my teaching job and ended up getting very sick. I eventually had to take a medical leave of absence so now the weight of us and all that we are now rested solely on his shoulders. Then I got depressed. So bad that I was scared and so was he. After trying to manage on my own I finally broke down and he jumped up and made sure I had all the emotional and physical help I needed. He even let me go to Oregon and California with Jessie driving on our own. Its not like he has to give me permission...but I am his life and he worries but he knew I had to do this. When I got back I didn't even want to be here. I was useless to my parents and him. He eventually took over most of the care of my parents and took over the horse care completely while he waited for me to snap out of this fog I was in. I eventually did get over it. Its a daily fight but I am doing so much better. I got a job that doesn't pay much but it allowed me to have a reason to get out of bed in the morning and I made a bunch of new friends.
I am back but he still helps me out all the time. His responsibilities grow as my parents continue to decline. In fact my dad is really scaring all of us and we can't help but feel every day we have with him is precious.
But David was finally benefiting. I was his wife again and to be frank I can't remember the last time we were doing this good in our relationship. But we are not done. Jessie moved to North Salt Lake to go to school. She lives with her boyfriend. She did all the paperwork and got all the funds she could manage but she was still 60,000 dollars short. The only way she could go was if we got a parent student loan. Now David nearly had a stroke when we bought our house and this type of stuff makes him very nervous. With the recession we are watching our pennies and our vehicles are getting older and we are paying on some back bills right now so we are very strapped. But David filled out the paperwork and voila....she was in school. She starts next Tuesday. I was thinking this had been her dream for ong now and who made it happen? Not me and not her real father but her stepfather David. They have become so close since she moved out here. Then I was thinking he made my dreams come true by moving me out here and buying and caring for 3 horses. Then he made Jessie's dreams come true.
That's what I was thinking about as I tried to sleep and decided I needed to write about it. Its good for me to see and remember how much he has done for me...how much he sacrificed and gave up for me. If that doesn't tell me he loves me and all that is mine then nothing will. But I see, I know and I am so grateful to have a man I love and admire with me. All of us should look at our spouses every now and then and step back to see the person that you fell in love with. I have fallen in love with David all over again. He is my white Knight in shining armour. Its only been 13 years....what could he possibly do to top any of the things he has already done but mark my words he will continue to rise to the occasion putting everyone around him first. I am blessed and I know that!!
David and I met and I had 3 large dogs, a cat, a psycho ex husband and the all time worst problem child. My daughter had been through a lot so when she acted out she went for broke. She made it very clear she didn't want Dave around and even circled places for rent in the classifieds that she told him he should see about. How I actually made it to a wedding much less my own was a miracle. He married me anyway and loved Jessie anyway. He gave her space so she could have her mom all to herself. He decided that Jessie really needed me and his time would eventually come. Once we settled in as a family Jessie hit her teens and boy were they fun. But the person she would go to 9 times out of 10 was David and he was there for her. I cannot tell you how many times he took her to court and sat by her side as support...never judging her but secretly praying she wouldn't make the same mistakes he and I did. She did and then a whole lot more but none the less he was there for her. Sometimes his support was in the form of a lecture which she really didn't like but somehow that stuff sank in. He had planted many seeds that are beginning to sprout right now.
He was always there for "our" animals too and let me tell you they were a pain in the ass. I don't know how many times he would search for our Houdini dogs. He'd always find them.....grumbling the whole time. However he was there holding them every time we had to put one down and his tears were genuine.
So just when it looked like we survived old dogs and their problems and Jess and her problems we came for a visit to Blanding Utah to visit my parents. Now I am an only child and for most of my life I have been separated from my family because life just worked out that way. So when we got off the plane and I saw my dad with his oxygen tank and my mother who could barely walk imagine my overwhelming concern. During that visit David and I decided there was nothing left to do but move out to help take care of them.
There are some things you should know about him. He loathes change. He was born and raised in Denbigh Va and there he was going to be buried. He had a business that he ran for 18 years. He was in a band as a lead guitarist and all his family and friends....everything that he knew and loved...was in Denbigh. I quit the job I loved at The College of William and Mary and we sold our house and prepared to move. I'm not going to say those 6 months were easy or even good and there was a lot of freaking out going on but eventually I kissed my daughter goodbye, we loaded up all the cats and dogs in a mini van and a mustang and off we went across the country to our new home. We traveled 5 days and kept each other company with our walkie talkies. We survived a tornado in Tenn. and fatigue by the time we hit Albuquerque. The next day we rolled into Blanding. It was desolate and all we saw was a huge tumbleweed roll across the road. At that point David said into his walkie talkie "we're not in Kansas anymore".
The first year was very difficult. My dad didn't want to admit they needed help and my mother was in denial about her walking situation. David was homesick and getting a bit angry about it but over time he joined the golf course here, made friends and started a very successful business in a town of 3600. 6 months into our new life here in Utah Jessie called and my mother and I decided she needed rescuing and told her to move here in Utah. Dave was devastated because that was the one perk to moving to BFE...no Jessie and all that went with her. But out she came and in time he admitted it was the best thing she could've done.
David would do anything to make me happy. He knew my whole life I dreamed of owning a horse. He was thinking 500 dollars for a sweet old gelding. But when I saw him....my magnificent buckskin beauty I had to have him. I burst into tears. I have never manipulated my husband to buy me something with tears but this was serious. I was going to die if I didn't get that horse. The horse that was a 2 year old stallion that cost us 5000 dollars. A few weeks later I announced I bought his pregnant full blooded sister for 4000 dollars. 8 months later we had Penny Lane, a filly every bit as bad as my daughter was. Everyday Penny would literally chew down the fence and everyday Dave would rebuild it. He cussed a blue mile as he did it but did it he did (is that a sentence??)
I had some tough times here with my teaching job and ended up getting very sick. I eventually had to take a medical leave of absence so now the weight of us and all that we are now rested solely on his shoulders. Then I got depressed. So bad that I was scared and so was he. After trying to manage on my own I finally broke down and he jumped up and made sure I had all the emotional and physical help I needed. He even let me go to Oregon and California with Jessie driving on our own. Its not like he has to give me permission...but I am his life and he worries but he knew I had to do this. When I got back I didn't even want to be here. I was useless to my parents and him. He eventually took over most of the care of my parents and took over the horse care completely while he waited for me to snap out of this fog I was in. I eventually did get over it. Its a daily fight but I am doing so much better. I got a job that doesn't pay much but it allowed me to have a reason to get out of bed in the morning and I made a bunch of new friends.
I am back but he still helps me out all the time. His responsibilities grow as my parents continue to decline. In fact my dad is really scaring all of us and we can't help but feel every day we have with him is precious.
But David was finally benefiting. I was his wife again and to be frank I can't remember the last time we were doing this good in our relationship. But we are not done. Jessie moved to North Salt Lake to go to school. She lives with her boyfriend. She did all the paperwork and got all the funds she could manage but she was still 60,000 dollars short. The only way she could go was if we got a parent student loan. Now David nearly had a stroke when we bought our house and this type of stuff makes him very nervous. With the recession we are watching our pennies and our vehicles are getting older and we are paying on some back bills right now so we are very strapped. But David filled out the paperwork and voila....she was in school. She starts next Tuesday. I was thinking this had been her dream for ong now and who made it happen? Not me and not her real father but her stepfather David. They have become so close since she moved out here. Then I was thinking he made my dreams come true by moving me out here and buying and caring for 3 horses. Then he made Jessie's dreams come true.
That's what I was thinking about as I tried to sleep and decided I needed to write about it. Its good for me to see and remember how much he has done for me...how much he sacrificed and gave up for me. If that doesn't tell me he loves me and all that is mine then nothing will. But I see, I know and I am so grateful to have a man I love and admire with me. All of us should look at our spouses every now and then and step back to see the person that you fell in love with. I have fallen in love with David all over again. He is my white Knight in shining armour. Its only been 13 years....what could he possibly do to top any of the things he has already done but mark my words he will continue to rise to the occasion putting everyone around him first. I am blessed and I know that!!
Friday, April 3, 2009
Thunder Down Under
Las Vegas is a marvolous place. Its so true...what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. The last time I went was 2 years ago. We drove down the day I bought my sweet gelding Elliot. We had tickets to see my all time favorite band Def Leppard. Anybody that knows me knows I am OBSESSED with Joe Elliott and Def Leppard. Go to my My Space page and you will see I am not playing with you when I say I take my Def Leppard and all things Joe very seriously. In fact I'm a member of the Def Leppard fan club. Now...I am waaaayyyy too cool for Fan Clubs but when it comes to Def Leppard I have no pride.
Picture one....I'm a little self conscious but I do it. Now mind you there should be 4 pictures in this series. But here I am..semi sober and being a lady I posed sweetly. Dave smiled and I smiled and click...here is the picture but then they say we have three more to take. I was like...okay. Bring it!!
Okay so I have my special Def Leppard fan club shirt on and off we go to see the concert. We stayed at the Excaliber which was AWESOME!! We checked in and decided to go bar hopping until we had to go to the concert. I wanted to try an Apple Martini so at the first bar I had my appletini and then David decides we just have to go to the ESPN Zone bar next door so off we go. I slammed down my appletini and off we went. We oooohhhhed and aaahhhed at the cool vegas strip and wandered into ESPN. I order another appletini because come to find out they are quite delicious. The bartender hands me this punch bowl of a glass filled to the brim with the wonderful elixir called Appletini. Dave chugged his beer and I attempted to chug down mine. And I chugged and I chugged. We walk outside and I have no idea what happened but it was like I was hit by a mack truck. My tongue muscle lost its ability to form words. My feet lost their ability to operate with any kind of syncronicity. In fact my ankles decided to take a nap and I'm crumpling to my knees. David was like "Jesus Hon...what the hell happened?" I giggled and tried to say "I don't know....help me....My eyes are crossing". So off we go back to the Excaliber as David dragged me in as my arms waved helplessly around and my eyes rolled into the back of my head. This was bad. I needed to sober up for my boys but we had our work cut out for us. Luckily I get what I call the "beer munchies". If I drink and I get snockered I all of a sudden must eat much like the pot heads we all know and love. I ate pizza, drank 5 gallons of coffee and showered and you know...I was okay. I was going to be okay. Then something amazing happened..........
THUNDER DOWN UNDER!!!!!!!!
As we walked through the lobby we noticed the Thunder boys were there posing for pictures. David suggested for shits and giggles having pose with them. So I said "okay...for you I guess I can do this" I mean standing next to male strippers is a sacrifice but what can I say...I'm a good wife.
Picture one....I'm a little self conscious but I do it. Now mind you there should be 4 pictures in this series. But here I am..semi sober and being a lady I posed sweetly. Dave smiled and I smiled and click...here is the picture but then they say we have three more to take. I was like...okay. Bring it!!
As you can see I'm feeling alittle more comfortable and to be quite frank I was still buzzing a bit and I was finding my cocky, sassy Lisa began to emerge. I smiled at David and he sort of smiled back but with a furrowed brow.
You just gotta love the guy that is shushing. Hilarious and oh what fun. So on to the third picture and then the fourth.
Okay so picture three I am definatley getting my groove on...look at me!! I look like I am Diana Ross busting on to the stage. Yes my friends I was feeling it. I smiled and looked at my sweet David who is in a full blown scowl by now. When it was suggested we move on to picture 4 David said "Alright...thats enough" A cock block if there ever was one. But what fun. In fact the next time I go I think I will watch their show and maybe...just maybe I will be sporting a Thunder Down Under Fan Club T-shirt. We shall see.
So off we go to the concert. It was everything I thought it would be and more...yes...I know I've seen them 6 times but I always catch something new. A true fan never gets over it.
About 3/4ths of the way through the concert David had a brillant idea. I could drink Red Bull and Vodka and that way I'd have fun drinking but I'd be awake.
I don't believe I have EVER been so annilated in my life. The unfortunate part is MGM (where the concert was) is ginormous. I know David literally held me up and dragged me to the what? The tram??? Oh my hell....I can no longer hold my head up and I'm basically just a passed out person that had her eyes sort of opened.
Dave unfortunately saw that fun window of drunk Lisa sex was closing by the minute. I barely made it to the room, I fell on the bed sideways and in the morning I woke laying in my own regurgitation. Hell of a night...just one hell of a night.
So for those of you that don't know me...my nickname is Tequila Lisa and she is my bizarro Lisa. For those of you that do know me...well it was typical. But fun!! Yes you would've been proud. So even though I never got that fourth picture the memories will last a lifetime.
My first published photo
Remember I said I am trying to get my photos published one day. Well here is my first published photo.
Voila!!! Yes everyone... I am officially published. No money changed hands but is that what its about...Heck NO!!! Its about the love of the photos!!!
So with each picture I publish I promise to share it with you you lucky people.
Now getting published here is probably not hard to do....due to the sheer lack of people my chances skyrocket. One day my grandfather asked me "would you rather be the head of a mouse or the tail of a lion?" In other words would you rather be the big man on campus on something insignificant or would you rather be at the very bottom of something great. Well in most cases I have felt being the tail of the lion was much better. However , in this case I will happily sport around at the head of a mouse....too many people...too many lost or overlooked chances. A person has to start somewhere and I'm starting here!!
I am mindful that my chances of "making it" are better here because I am surrounded by those that care.
"Developing a kind heart does not involve any of the sentimental religiosity normally associated with it. It is for everyone, irrespective of race, religion or political affiliation. It is for anybody who considers themself a member of the human family."
-His Holiness the Dalai Lama
Thursday, April 2, 2009
oops
So sorry guys. This has been a very busy week. On Facebook I have run into so many friends I haven't seen since I was a teenager so I've been cahtting it up with these people.
Well Ihave two new blogs in mind but I have to scan pictures then write. It will take a wee bit of time so I will tackle it tomoorw. Today I am getting beautified. I am getting a new do!! I am terrified but what the hell...you only live once supposedly. Tomorrow I will have time inbetween teaching my mother how to navigate Facebook. She gets so frustrated so hopefully I can get her to relax and just enjoy the adventure of navigating a web site you are clueless about. We've all been there...right? Oh.... I just thought of another blog. I may have to write about an old boyfriend I just ran into online. He was quite possibly the strangest individual out there but I will let you be the judge. In the meantime you WILL crack up because you won't be able to believe this is a true story...his name was Derek Kendall. Honestly this has been such a strange week.
So toodles for now and look for me and more fascinating stories in the days to come. I have so many.......
Well Ihave two new blogs in mind but I have to scan pictures then write. It will take a wee bit of time so I will tackle it tomoorw. Today I am getting beautified. I am getting a new do!! I am terrified but what the hell...you only live once supposedly. Tomorrow I will have time inbetween teaching my mother how to navigate Facebook. She gets so frustrated so hopefully I can get her to relax and just enjoy the adventure of navigating a web site you are clueless about. We've all been there...right? Oh.... I just thought of another blog. I may have to write about an old boyfriend I just ran into online. He was quite possibly the strangest individual out there but I will let you be the judge. In the meantime you WILL crack up because you won't be able to believe this is a true story...his name was Derek Kendall. Honestly this has been such a strange week.
So toodles for now and look for me and more fascinating stories in the days to come. I have so many.......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
