David

It is so easy to take your spouse for granted. We've all done it and we have all had it done to us. That's okay....its one of the perks of being married to your soul mate, just as long as you do take the time to see your spouse for who he/she is and all the many ways they show you they love you. I couldn't sleep tonight and as I lay there trying to go back to sleep I began thinking of all the ways David has shown he loves me. I know I have thanked him so many times but again...have I really told him. That's what I am doing today.
David and I met and I had 3 large dogs, a cat, a psycho ex husband and the all time worst problem child. My daughter had been through a lot so when she acted out she went for broke. She made it very clear she didn't want Dave around and even circled places for rent in the classifieds that she told him he should see about. How I actually made it to a wedding much less my own was a miracle. He married me anyway and loved Jessie anyway. He gave her space so she could have her mom all to herself. He decided that Jessie really needed me and his time would eventually come. Once we settled in as a family Jessie hit her teens and boy were they fun. But the person she would go to 9 times out of 10 was David and he was there for her. I cannot tell you how many times he took her to court and sat by her side as support...never judging her but secretly praying she wouldn't make the same mistakes he and I did. She did and then a whole lot more but none the less he was there for her. Sometimes his support was in the form of a lecture which she really didn't like but somehow that stuff sank in. He had planted many seeds that are beginning to sprout right now.
He was always there for "our" animals too and let me tell you they were a pain in the ass. I don't know how many times he would search for our Houdini dogs. He'd always find them.....grumbling the whole time. However he was there holding them every time we had to put one down and his tears were genuine.
So just when it looked like we survived old dogs and their problems and Jess and her problems we came for a visit to Blanding Utah to visit my parents. Now I am an only child and for most of my life I have been separated from my family because life just worked out that way. So when we got off the plane and I saw my dad with his oxygen tank and my mother who could barely walk imagine my overwhelming concern. During that visit David and I decided there was nothing left to do but move out to help take care of them.
There are some things you should know about him. He loathes change. He was born and raised in Denbigh Va and there he was going to be buried. He had a business that he ran for 18 years. He was in a band as a lead guitarist and all his family and friends....everything that he knew and loved...was in Denbigh. I quit the job I loved at The College of William and Mary and we sold our house and prepared to move. I'm not going to say those 6 months were easy or even good and there was a lot of freaking out going on but eventually I kissed my daughter goodbye, we loaded up all the cats and dogs in a mini van and a mustang and off we went across the country to our new home. We traveled 5 days and kept each other company with our walkie talkies. We survived a tornado in Tenn. and fatigue by the time we hit Albuquerque. The next day we rolled into Blanding. It was desolate and all we saw was a huge tumbleweed roll across the road. At that point David said into his walkie talkie "we're not in Kansas anymore".
The first year was very difficult. My dad didn't want to admit they needed help and my mother was in denial about her walking situation. David was homesick and getting a bit angry about it but over time he joined the golf course here, made friends and started a very successful business in a town of 3600. 6 months into our new life here in Utah Jessie called and my mother and I decided she needed rescuing and told her to move here in Utah. Dave was devastated because that was the one perk to moving to BFE...no Jessie and all that went with her. But out she came and in time he admitted it was the best thing she could've done.
David would do anything to make me happy. He knew my whole life I dreamed of owning a horse. He was thinking 500 dollars for a sweet old gelding. But when I saw him....my magnificent buckskin beauty I had to have him. I burst into tears. I have never manipulated my husband to buy me something with tears but this was serious. I was going to die if I didn't get that horse. The horse that was a 2 year old stallion that cost us 5000 dollars. A few weeks later I announced I bought his pregnant full blooded sister for 4000 dollars. 8 months later we had Penny Lane, a filly every bit as bad as my daughter was. Everyday Penny would literally chew down the fence and everyday Dave would rebuild it. He cussed a blue mile as he did it but did it he did (is that a sentence??)
I had some tough times here with my teaching job and ended up getting very sick. I eventually had to take a medical leave of absence so now the weight of us and all that we are now rested solely on his shoulders. Then I got depressed. So bad that I was scared and so was he. After trying to manage on my own I finally broke down and he jumped up and made sure I had all the emotional and physical help I needed. He even let me go to Oregon and California with Jessie driving on our own. Its not like he has to give me permission...but I am his life and he worries but he knew I had to do this. When I got back I didn't even want to be here. I was useless to my parents and him. He eventually took over most of the care of my parents and took over the horse care completely while he waited for me to snap out of this fog I was in. I eventually did get over it. Its a daily fight but I am doing so much better. I got a job that doesn't pay much but it allowed me to have a reason to get out of bed in the morning and I made a bunch of new friends.
I am back but he still helps me out all the time. His responsibilities grow as my parents continue to decline. In fact my dad is really scaring all of us and we can't help but feel every day we have with him is precious.
But David was finally benefiting. I was his wife again and to be frank I can't remember the last time we were doing this good in our relationship. But we are not done. Jessie moved to North Salt Lake to go to school. She lives with her boyfriend. She did all the paperwork and got all the funds she could manage but she was still 60,000 dollars short. The only way she could go was if we got a parent student loan. Now David nearly had a stroke when we bought our house and this type of stuff makes him very nervous. With the recession we are watching our pennies and our vehicles are getting older and we are paying on some back bills right now so we are very strapped. But David filled out the paperwork and voila....she was in school. She starts next Tuesday. I was thinking this had been her dream for ong now and who made it happen? Not me and not her real father but her stepfather David. They have become so close since she moved out here. Then I was thinking he made my dreams come true by moving me out here and buying and caring for 3 horses. Then he made Jessie's dreams come true.
That's what I was thinking about as I tried to sleep and decided I needed to write about it. Its good for me to see and remember how much he has done for me...how much he sacrificed and gave up for me. If that doesn't tell me he loves me and all that is mine then nothing will. But I see, I know and I am so grateful to have a man I love and admire with me. All of us should look at our spouses every now and then and step back to see the person that you fell in love with. I have fallen in love with David all over again. He is my white Knight in shining armour. Its only been 13 years....what could he possibly do to top any of the things he has already done but mark my words he will continue to rise to the occasion putting everyone around him first. I am blessed and I know that!!