Blue Light Special

This has been a difficult morning for me. I accidently spilled wine on my computer last night. I didn't think it was much. I immediately wiped it down and shut it down and went to bed. I prayed all through the night that all would be okay in the morning. So I got up at 3:30 am knowing I would have my computer to get me through until the house woke up. I turned it on and it was working!!! It was beautiful. Everything worked great so I clicked on my favorites, found my facebook page, clicked on the user and pass area and started typing all the relevent information. However, the keyboard was not responding. So for two hours I tried everything. I even called my hp support number. The man was very nice until he noticed I hadn't renewed my warranty. I didn't know I had to. And then he proceeds to tell me in a very condenscending tone....."I'm sorry but no warranty no help". I was stunned....I asked him if I could buy something on line that would help him to help me. He told me to buy a new computer and hung up. There was this horrible black smoke that began pouring out of my ears. I, at that moment, remembered my friend Trudy in Virginia saying as she showed off her new Dells that the tech support was off the charts so I mumbled into the silent phone..."I will fucker....a DELL!!!!!"

The rest of that story can be read on my other blog http://www.lisaunleashed.blogspot.com/

So I resigned myself to the unimagineable fate of no computer and decided to use my perfectly working mouse and read my friends blogs. I got to Beth's Run With Me Blog and read how she did at the horsetooth half marathon. I will let you read the story for yourself

http://www.twentysixpointtwoormore.blogspot.com/

She told a story that had me on the floor laughing so hard I nearly threw up. It was about when your lower digestive track decides to do a mass evacuation at the most inopportune time. She was a trooper. Under those circumstances I probably would have just run off the side of those beautiful mountains sparing myself the unimagineable ribbing I would get from my better half and my offspring. That would be a fate worse than death.
Anyhoo....this type of phenomenon is known in my family as the "Blue Light Special". Do not ask me how this term came to be but its one we use frequently. Usually this type of thing happens in the car on my way home from a wonderful meal and I've never had an accident because we imagine Dave putting a blue siren on top the car and he gets me home just in the knick of time.

I will tell you a story about one of my Blue Light Specials that was pretty messed up. November 6th 2004 David and I took Jess to Olive Garden for her birthday dinner. We needed this because we had just survived Hurricane Isabel and just got our power back on and things were beginning to go back to normal. We had a great dinner with much laughing and enjoyment. We then decided to go home and watch the new movie Jess got called "Finding Nemo"....a classic already.
We get into the car and my lower "bowel area" began to make a strange sound...not like one any of us had ever heard before...it was quite ominous sounding. Then I burst into the cold sweats. I couldn't decide if I was going to spontaneously combust right then and there or what the hell was going on. Then I knew....this was going to be the Mother of all Blue Light Specials. My wonderful family knew instantly by the look of horror in my eyes and the profuse sweating and those ominous sounds coming from my stomach.
Now we were literally less than 2 miles from my house and there was a very small powder room right when you got in the door. I began using visualization exercises ...I could see my driveway, I could see the front door, I could see that wonderful little tiny powder room...I could see the toilet...about this time my husband was pulling out of the parking lot. Across the street I saw a Dunkin Donuts rising before me like a Phoenix rising up to call mama home. I just pointed urgently to the Dunkin Donuts.....we hung on for dear life as he did a bat turn (illegal) to do a u-turn into the donut parking lot.
It was fairly late by this time...I guess not a high traffic time for donut stores. I flew past this little teenager boy just trying to do his job and found the bathroom....I didn't lock...I just danced around crying as I tried to calmly pull down my pants but it was like those horror movies where the pretty girl finally makes it to the car but it won't start as the monster bears down on her. It was much like that. I MADE IT with a big sigh of relief and relaxed and OMG!!!!! WTF?????? It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. For a minute I thought I was spontaneously combusting...then I realized "no...I will have to walk out with as much dignity I can muster because there is no way in hell that sweet child out there isn't hearing this and is probably wondering if he should call 911. "
Fuck it...I washed my hands, adjusted my clothes, fluffed up my hair and walked out as if I was Queen Elizabeth, smiled at the boy and said goodbye...NO>>>I DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING!!!!! If I was wondering if I could've escaped notice by the boy but one glance at the look on his face and I knew I was soooo busted. I ran out to the car and told Dave to step on it before I even closed the door. Everyone was all nosey and wanted details which I refused to provide and those two laughed all the way home...still the longest two miles of my life.
To move on with the festivities I got the DVD and turned everything on and BAM our power was out again. I wanted to scream. Because we had just recovered from Hurricane Isabel we still had out generator outside the door ready to go. So we plugged in the TV and microwave. We watched Finding Nemo by candlelight eating popcorn and watching the movie to the background noise of a leer jet landing. The only thing that made the night even better was knowing my grumpy neighbor next door (I called him Mr. Wilson) hated the sound of our generator.